


My One and Only Love

by AshinaWalker



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Arkham, Cuddle, Depression, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, M/M, Multiple Personality Disorder, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:45:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8540719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshinaWalker/pseuds/AshinaWalker
Summary: Oswald is worried Ed doesn't like him anymore, platonically or romantically mainly because he has been ignoring him for the past 2 weeks after they got in a fight. Oswald was also recently diagnosed with depression and was going to tell Ed but now he just wont listen. Eds darks side is appearing again. He is telling him to kill oswald, to abuse him emotionally and physically. His dark side wants to make Oswald feel worthless and do whatever he wants. But Ed doesn't want to harm his little broken bird. Oswald has started cutting, carving, burning, interfering with the healing of his wounds, and hitting himself. BTW this is after Ed had been ignoring Ozzie.





	1. Pain and Love

"Fuck you Oswald!" Ed shouts at me. "Please stop, I'm sorry," I plea to him. "Why should I stop," He questions eerily calm now. "Because I didn't mean to break your glasses, I'm so sorry," I sob into my knees. Tears start falling from my eyes. Ed slaps me with the back of his hand, "Don't try and make me sorry for you, Oh I'm Oswald I'm pretending to be sad so I can win this fight." Ed mocks. I get up and try to run to my room. He grabs my wrist and yanks me back down to the ground spraining my ankle and dislocating my wrist and shoulder. I yelp in pain. A steady stream of tears begin falling down my face. I feel like I'm going to choke. My face stings from where I was hit earlier by Ed. I start getting the thoughts again. That I was worthless, that I should die. That I don't deserve Ed and thats why he's so easy to make mad. Ed notices my shoulder hanging limply. "Holy shit, it's all my fault I'm sorry. It's just my dark side has been taking over more often and he hates you, but I love you." He says while taking off his shirt. "W-w-w-what are you doing Ed?" I say trying to hide my blush. He takes one side of the shirt in his teeth and the other in his hands and rips it. "This is going to hurt Baby bird, and I'm sorry if I hurt you too badly," he says. "Take off your shirt," Ed says as if it's nothing, even though I'm flustered I do so. He grabs my hand and puts his otther hands palm on the right side of my chest. He pushes with his palm and pulls with the hand holding mine. I yell loudly in pain. "I'm so so sorry." Ed says sadly. He wraps my wrist and shoulder in two dofferent sides of his shirt as a make shift brace. I start to feel cold, my teeth soon start chattering. Ed takes my hand and helps me up. I follow him to his Bedroom. He grabs a blanket and a T.V. remote. "If you want to go change you can," Ed says reading my mind. I do so. I come back to see Ed watching Courage the Cowardly Dog holding 2 cups of tea. "Let me help you," he says kinda quietly. He sets the tea on the nightstand. He wraps me in the blanket and helps me into his bed. Then I notice he is only wearing boxers. I blush.He hands me a tea mug. I slowly scoot closer throughout the next few hours. When I'm close enough i snuggle up against him and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel him smile and lay his head on mine. "Ed I need to tell you something," I say scared to see his reaction. He nods. "I was recently diagnosed with depression and some self harm disorder." I say quickly. "Does self harm disorder mean your likely to hurt yourself or you already do?" He questions. "I already do," I say slowly feeling my heart stop in my chest. A tear falls down Eds cheek, he hugs me kisses my cheek. 'I think he still likes me' I think to myself. Ed wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him and onto his lap. I nuzzle my face into his chest. Pretty soon I fall asleep in the comfort and safety of his arms. I wake up to the smell of scrambled eggs with cheese and panckes. Ed is gone so I head into the bathroom and start punching my abdomen. I soon enough start clawing at my chest. Then I hear footsteps. I quickly and quietly run back to the bed and pretend to be asleep. "Birdy, I made breakfast for us." Ed says quietly. I pretend to stay asleep. I can feel him giggling at my sleeping form. "Ozzie wake up," Ed says as he nudges me. I pretend to just barely be waking up. "Come on my little birdy, I made breakfast and coffee for us." he says a little louder. I get up and follow him to the dining room. Instead of sitting on chairs we sit on a bench so we can cuddle. I kiss his lips lovingly. We pull apart and both smile. I can't believe we went from Ed abusing me to us exchanging kisses and cuddling within a few hours. Ed looks a little troubled for some reason. Then he starts banging his head on the table and screams, "SHUT UP WE LOVE EACH OTHER, NO!!!" Then he stops and looks at me predatorially. He grabs my hair and slams my head on the the table. Up and down on the table. After a while of this he keeps on slamming my head but also, crying and hitting himself with his other hand. He stops. He starts slamming his own head against the table. I grab his shoulders and make him stop. He looks at me and his eyes tell me that he is pleading for something. "I'm sorry," He says quietly. I think he was pleading for me to let him punish himself. I grab his wrist and weakly tug him upstairs into my bedroom. We both climb under the sheets and I lay my head on his chest. I close my eyes. "Oswald please don't go to sleep, I need someone to stay with me." he pauses, "I'm sorry," he whispers. I snuggle up against his chest. My eyes meet his and for once I see all the pain and torcher hiding behind riddles and jokes. He doesn't let out his emotions. The most emotion I've ever seen him reveal and that was to me, a person he trusts greatly was a few tears and him saying I'm sorry very often. He looks into my eyes and he sees, the pain of seeing my mother die, and seeing what had just happened to him and his partner. "I'm so sorry," He says putting much more emotion into his words than usual. I grab his shoulders and pull him into a tight embrace. I hear him sniffle and not much later he starts sobbing into my neck. "Oswald I have a confession." He says under his breath just loud enough for me to hear. "What is it my dear?" I ask him scared of his answer. "I saw you this morning, you were punching yourself and dragging your nails across your skin." He says tears still streaming down his cheeks. "Now it's my turn to say I'm sorry," I giggle sadly. "Why did you start?" he asks crying more and more by every minute. He starts mking a hiccup noise every few seconds. "When I was younger kids make fun of me for how I walked, for how much depression and anxiety I had running through my body, and how much love I had for anyone who got close to me." I say sadly. "I started cutting and drawing with knives on my skin and burning my flesh at the age of 6." Ed shakes his head in sadness and disbelief. "Then, when I was 10 I started picking at my scars and making sure my scars were permanent." I say as if it is nothing. "And at the age of 16 I started punching myself and hitting into walls." I say. "No, My little bird never deserved this." He says still in shock. "I am your demons and sadness, but I'm comforting to some, what am I?" I ask him. "Depression," Ed says barely even a second after I told him my riddle. "My bird may have a broken wing, but that doesn't mean I can't help him get better. I may not be able to fully earase all the bad memories and fully fix him but, I will still try, even though my bird is beautiful anyway." Ed says a glint of hope and love in his eyes. I smile at him sadly. I look up at the clock and realize it was already 7:00 P.M. We stay up all night talking and drinking tea. Cuddling and kissing. I put my hand on his chest when he starts kissing me a little to roughly for me to be comfortable. "I'm sorry," He says looking down at my feet. "Stop saying your sorry, you don't need to feel bad." I say passionately. He kisses me tenderly on my lips. And then he mouths through the kiss, "I love you."


	2. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last night was the best time Oswald had ever had. Ed agrees, and he even thinks it is better than the time he and Miss Kringle. Selina Kyle is being a bitch to Oswald until she finds out he's in a relationship with Ed. How will she react? How will Ed react?

__________________Eds POV_________________  
I awake to teeth chattering. I open my eyes and look for my little bird. Suddenly, I notice a shaking form under the sheets of the bed. I lift the covers and find Oswald shivering and whining while huddled in a ball. I don't think my sweet penguin likes the cold. I chuckle a little from my last thought. I wrap my arms around him and pull him up to my chest. I curl around him as if I'm his sheild and armor. I pull the covers over us and snuggle my little hurt birdie. After a few minutes he stops shivering. He sighs, content with whats happening I wierdly hear a window open even though I was pretty sure they were locked. I grab a quilt and wrap it around my Ozzie. I get up but look back and see him frown. Even though he is asleep I tell him, "I'll hopefully only be a moment." I walk to the next room which was mine and where I heard the noise come from. I see Selina Kyle coming through the window. "I need to talk to the bird brain," she says disrespectfully. I pause and stare at her angrily. "What the hell is wrong with you," she says annoyingly. "He's over here," I say with fake hospitality. "Better learn your manners, someday somebody who loves the bird might hurt the cat." I say menacingly. I walk into his room to find him shivering and crying slightly. Not even caring that Selina is here I run over to my broken bird and wrap my arms around him. I kiss his cheek and his eyes shoot open and he screams. "Oh babe, did you have a bad dream?" I ask him quietly. He nods. "What was it about?" I ask whispering. He just shakes his head. I brush my lips against his. "Oh my fuck, you guys are like... a thing?" Selina asks hysterically. "That's so adorable," she says and what smiles, I believe genuinly. "Anyway, bird brain you owe me money for stealing that ring." She says. Oswald blushes. "Selina come with me, Ed can you wait in here for me?" Oswald says quickly. I nod.  
____________________Oswalds POV________________  
'That was a quick save' I think to myself. "Here Selina and thanks for you know getting the ring even though it was a little more dangerous than your used to." I say while handing her a wad of cash. "Is it for Ed?" She asks giggling. I lean in close to her, "Between you and me yes." I confirm. "I mean before the fight we had been dating for 2 years so I think the time might be soon," I say confidently. She checks and obviously expensive and stolen watch. "I got to go Bird brain." She says. I blink and then she's already gone.  
___________________Ed's POV____________________  
Oswald walks back in and snuggles up next to me. I grab his waist and cup his cheek. I pull him close to me and I close the space between us with a kiss. We go down to the dining room and eat waffles. The rest of the day is pretty normal but tonight is so extrordinary. Oswald told me to get ready and dress nice I did so and he took me to a fancy resturaunt. After desert I tell him "I have to go to the bathroom," I tell my birdie. "NO! Please I need to tell you something." Oswald yells to me. "What?" I ask him curiously. He takes a deep breath. He gets down on 1 knee. 'What the fuck, OMG is this happening.' I think to myself. I start feeling dizzy. "Will you make me the happiest little penguin and marry me?" He asks me. I can't even think of a riddle to answer. so instead I say, "Y-y-y-yes, yes, Yes!" I yell happily. My bird grabbed my tie and pulled me close to his heightand leaned in sharply. After a few moments I lick his lips and he opens his mouth. Our tongues fight for dominance. I win and I explore his mouth and find his weak spot. After a few moments some people cheer and some boo us but I honestly don't care but when I hear a man say, "Our mayors a fucking F***ot." It hits me like a bat. After a few seconds I pull away from Oswald. I walk over to the guy and slap him. I then kick him to the ground. "You can think that way if you want to but don't you dare try and ruin the best day in someones life." I say anger boiling up inside me. Oswald notices my face expression, lays a few hundred dollars on the table even though our food was around $200. I grab his hand and head out to the limo. I kiss his knuckles when I notice his face was dark and gloomy. "I'm so sorry Oswald, don't give in to the rude people." I say calmly. A few tears fall down his face and I flick them away. I kiss the corner of his lips. "I hope he didn't ruin this special day," I say to my sweet adorable bird. I cuddle up next to him even though we are in the car and are legally supposed to wear seat belts. I kiss his jawline. "I love you more than anyone, or anything," I say lovingly. I hold him tightly in my arms and after a while I smile because of what happened before the guy. I think about how we kissed and how there were more people cheering for us than the people being angry about us. I'm happy about how our world has changed in the past 50 years. I remember tales from my grandpa telling us about beatings and stuff like that. And now people cheer for people who are gay and proposing are that they are a couple like Selina. I hold Oswald a little tighter. I realize how much Oswald loves me and how much I love him. I almost feel the best I've felt in my life. I realize that I am making a change in Oswalds life and I'm helping him with his sadness and anxiety. My goal is to get him to stop self harming. I love him so much and he doesn't deserve to be treated like that. By others or by himself. He is more important than anyone. I think he is the best person and the best anything. When we get home I tug him into bed all night I whisper sweet nothings in his ears and kiss him and after a while we both fall asleep.


	3. Bad Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordan asks our newly engaged couple some personal and professional questions. Ed and Oswald tell Eds Mom that he is dating Oswald and is attracted to men. Will Ed have to protect Oswald or will Oswald have to protect Ed? Fluffy.

_______Oswalds POV______ Last night was the best time Oswald had had in forever. Ed agrees. Oswald awakes to Ed tossing and truning. Ed has his back to Oswald so Oswald checks why Ed's on his phone, he hates cell phones. I read that he is messaging someone name, 'My Homophobic Mother.' Oh... OH! I slowly pretend to start waking up. Ed doesn't notice so I say, "Good morning my little riddler." "Good morning birdie." He says while setting his phone down on the table beside the bed. He wraps his arms around me affectionately and kisses me sweetly. "I love you babe," I say when we pull apart. "What are you reading?" I ask while pointing at the phone. He hands it to me and I read the latest message outloud, "I'm coming down to your house to meet your fiance and clebrate your engagement. Can't wait to meet  _her."_ "When she going to get here?" I ask Ed curiously. "Tomorrow, she is leaving today and is getting here around 6:00 A.M." Ed answers quickly. The rest of my day went by as usual, ate breakfast, watched T.V., got in the shower, get dressed, eat lunch, art therapy, go to an LGBT+ group support thing with Ed, eat dinner, snuggle with Ed in bed, and go to sleep. In the morning Ed and I wake up to the doorbell. I get up and head to the door cautiously and Ed pulls on a pair of pants. We both make it to the door and slowly unlock and open it. We are greeted by a cheerful woman who quickly hugs my sweet little alphabet boy. She walks in and shoves me out of the way rudely. Great, I already don't like my mother-in-law. We show her to the guest bedroom. She drops off her luggage. "Were is she, your fiance?" Eds mom asks impatiently. He tugs her to the couch, has her sit down walks into the kitchen and takes me over to a chair across from the couch, that we share. "Mom, this is Oswald," Ed says pointing at me. Me and his mother shake hands. "He is my fiance," Ed says quickly and shakily. "No, not my poor Ed," She says calmly. She stands up and says, "I don't think you're gay, I think Oswald is forcing you to be like the trash that he is." She says angrily. She quickly zips towards me and strikes me. She starts kicking me to the ground and quickly hits her with an umbrella. I get up and run out the door still clutching the umbrella. She runs after me and Ed runs upstairs. A few seconds later he throws at his moms bags and sutcases. He runs in front of his mom and grabs my wrist. I pull him inside and lock the door. We lock every enterance into the house. She still yells, threatens me, and bangs on walls. We call the police and after a few moments someone knocks and a girl says, "We've secured her, please open the door." I do so. A Blue haired girl in a police uniform walks in and asks if we could talk. I run into our room to grab Ed and here him sobbing. I walk up to him and put my arm on his shoulder, "Do you think you're feel well enough to let a detective ask us a couple questions?" I ask him softly. He shakes his head, turns and nudges his face into my shoulder. I tell him, "One sec I'm going to talk to the detective." When I go downstairs I see James Gordon talking to the girl. "Hello James," I say from the staircase.  "Hello Cobblepot," He says bitterly. "I need to talk to you and Nygma." He says while walking closer to me. "He is not in any condition to talk to a police officer about his mother." I tell him professionally. "I don't need to talk to you guys about his mother, I need to talk to you guys about other stuff." He says straight faced. He pushes past me and walks upstairs to our room. I follow him and see him telling Ed that it will be O.K. I hug Ed and kisses his collarbone. "Are you guys like, together?" Gordan asks us. "Yes," I answer for the both of us. "How long?" He asks us curiously. "2 years," I say while comforting Ed by kissing his forehead and running my fingers through his hair. He burries his face into my chest and I hold him tightly. "Did your Mom ever show signs of psychosis or any mental illness?" Gordan asks Ed. "I thought you said you weren't going to ask him questions about his Mom." I say, getting furious really quickly. Right when I am done Ed says weakly, "No." Gordan stares at one of Eds hands and asks, "Where'd you get the ring Nygma, it's beautiful?" "Oswald got me it 2 nights ago, that was when he proposed to me." Ed says, calming down a little. "Wait, seriously?" Gordan asks. "Yes, we got matching rings, one of a kind." I say proudly. Gordan nods, "That wraps up questions, I hope you two have a good rest of your day." Gordan says while getting up and leasving the room. I hear him close the door and soon after, the police driving away. I pull Ed onto our bed and we spend the rest of our day eating sweets and junk food. At one point we watch Scream Queens but that is basically the rest of that wretched day. Neither of us fall asleep we just spend night in each others arms, talking.


	4. Midnight Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed finds Oswalds cutting razors. Ed starts cutting. Oswald is left to try and help Ed. Will he call a hospital? I hope you enjoy! ^_^ Also, in this chapter self harm is present all throughout it. Plus body horror. So if you are sensitive to that then skip this chapter.

____Eds POV____ After a little while of cuddling and kissing I decide to get out of bed and get in the shower. It was morning, I could tell by how lit up our room was even without lights. After washing up I walk out, knowing Oswald is still asleep and is a heavy sleeper so I don't have to worry about him seeing me. I pull on my pants and head into the closet we shared to grab a shirt. I got one of my shirts and one of Oswalds jackets. I put my hands into the sweatshirt pocket and felt something sharp cut me. "Shit," I whisper to myself. With my other hand I reached into the pocket carefully. I pull out a small bag filled with around 7 to 10 blood stained razors. I quickly but quietly snuck downstairs to my research room. Even though I'm not a forensic anymore I still have some equipment that I use on occasion. I take one of the razors out of the bag and tried to get as much blood off of the razors and onto a blood testing device. I had taken blood from Oswald awhile ago when I was still on the police force. After a few hours I got results. It was identified as Oswalds blood DNA. I felt my heart stop. Even though Oswald had told me he self harmed I still can't fully grasp that he does that. I feel tears stream down my face. I run outside to the garbage can and throw away the razors, all but one. I run inside to see a groggy Oswald getting coffee. I quickly wipe my tears off my face but I can't hide the sadness in my eyes. As soon as Oswald notices me he sets his coffee on the counter and walks quickly to me and pulls me into a tight hug. He presses soft kisses onto my neck sweetly. We pull apart and I lay my forehead on his. "What happened babe?" Oswald asks quietly. Tears start brewing in my eyes and all I can croak out is, "Why?" "What?" Oswald says worridly. I start sobbing and slowly walk to my research room. I pull open the door and walk inside. I pick up the razor and the bag and ask Oswald, "Why?" His face falls. It looks like he feels guilty for no reason. We walk upstairs and spend another day just sitting in bed. My eyes haven't been dry for the rest of the day. Even though Oswald gets out of bed to get some food and asks me if I wanted something. I say no. I don't think i'm going to be hungry ever again after the past two days. I don't know why but I feel ugly and miserable even though I am engaged to the man of my dreams, I live in a mansion, and I am the chief of staff for the mayor of Gotham. I have a great life but for no reason feel like shit. I feel fat and ugly. I am fat and ugly. I don't deserve Oswald. After a few moments of these thoughts I start to feel like they are not my doing. You are fucking stupid. You don't deserve food. You don't deserve anything. I start crying again for the umpteenth time today. My eyes shift to my legs and after a few seconds of staring at them I start seeing scars dripping blood. But only for a quick flash. It does it again but instead it flickers. I soon black out. After what seems like forever I finally see that my legs are scarred and bloody. I see a shard of glass right next to me. I first think it is a hallucination but then I reach down and rub my legs. I look at my hand, mainly palm and see blood. I feel my legs start burning really quickly. I let out a loud yell. I hear frantic footsteps. Oswald walks in to see me crying, tears dripping onto my cuts making them sting worse. He runs over and kneels at my side and I can't hear him. And soon I black out.  
___Oswalds POV___ I hear Ed yell loudly and I drop the spoon I'm using to stir my ramen and run upstairs. I run into our room to see Ed looking at his legs which are cut up and bleeding. my heart shatters in two and I run to his side. "Babe, are you O.K.?" I say quickly and worridly. He doesn't seem to hear me so I say it again. Soon his eyes close and he falls down onto the bed. I kiss him and quickly call Gordan. "Hello," Gordan says calmly. "Ed cut himself and passed out please hurry over here now!" I yell and he says, "I'm already getting into my car. Oswald, prop him up, wash his cuts, bandage them when they stop bleeding, and try and wake him back up." He says and then hangs up. I grab rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, bandages, neosporin, water, and ace bandages. I run quickly to Ed and Pour some alcohol onto the cotton balls. I start rubbing it on his scars and my poor sweet little bird flinches. I feel so sorry immediately but I continue to rub his scars. He starts whining in his sleep. I nearly find myself crying while helping him. After around 15 minutes, that feel like hours of agony I get his scars to stop bleeding. I thenput the neosporin onto his thighs. I put bandages and ace bandages on them. I then decided to try and wake him up sweetly. I nudge him and tell him to wake up. This obviously doesn't work so I splash water on him. He seems not notice it. So then I slap him. He groans and his hand covers his cheek that I slapped but doesn't wake up. I slap him again and he awakes slowly. He holds left cheek and looks at me confused. He tries to get up but hisses in pain.   
___Eds POV___ I slowly start seeing Oswald standing over me. My cheek hurts like shit. I try and sit up but I can't because I immediately feel a stinging pain on my upper legs. Oswald tells me, "Babe, don't move, you cut yourself, blacked out, and I cleaned your cuts, when you move you are stretching out your cuts which I know hurts. Gordan is on his way." Then he pulls me up towards him. He kissed me sweetly and I kiss back. We pull apart and snuggle for a few moments. Then we hear a knock on the door downstairs and my sweet bird goes downstairs. I hear the door open and mumbling and footsteps coming to me. I see them both walk into the room. Oswald helps me sit up and sits down right next to me. Gordan sits at the edge of the bed. I laid my head on Oswalds shoulder. "How are you Ed?" Gordan asks, calling me by my first name for one of the first times. "Pretty fucking shitty." I say dryly. Gordan gets out a notepad and a pen. "Why did you do it, cut yourself and when did you start?" Gordan asks calmly. "I don't know, I starting getting thoughts that didn't quite feel like mine and soon I looked at my thighs and a picture flashed through my head, they were cut and bloody. The image kept on flashing for awhile until I blacked out for a few seconds, and then the cuts were real. Also, this is the first time I've cut." I say trying to remember everything since it was all a haze. "Did anything happen that could have caused this?" Gordan asks still writing on his notepad. "I found Oswalds razors he uses to cut this morning, that made me depressed." I tell Gordan quietly, worried I'd upset Oswald, but instead Oswald just hugs me. Gordan says, "Thank you Oswald for calling me. Ed, I recommend you see a therapist just to kinda help with everything." Gordan says while getting up. He walks out of the room and leaves the house. "I was hoping he would be more help," Oswald says dissapointedly. Oswald wraps me up in a blanket and pulls me towards him. We kiss passionately. When we pull apart he kisses my neck, collarbone, chest, the cuts on my thighs and my lips again. We both fall asleep a mess of limbs, scars, and smiles.


End file.
